Maybe you want to read this...maybe you dont.

Well. I still don't have much to talk about on this thing, but I thought I'd share a recent piece of writing with you. So, in one of my English classes, we had to read On Writing by Stephen King. Now, I'm not a Stephen King buff at all; quite honestly, I would never...ever...pick up one of his novels. I'm the first to admit that I would probably pee my pants. I HATE scary stuff :O
But, this book was much different. It was his memoir on writing and how he became the writer that he is. Sounds boring, but it was actually very good. His wit actually made me WANT to read it....and it really made me want to write. Pow. Yes, after I read it, I began wiritng my own novel...haha...but of course, I never finished it. Maybe I'll finish someday, but, like my blogging experience, I don't tend to finish things.
Anyways, so, after reading the book we had to write an essay about Stephen King's "writing biases"...and here is my essay. You probably dont want to read this as it may bore you...but I did try to make it a little funny. And I'm sure you'll be able to tell that I was quite pissy about the assignment (I'm pretty pissy about a lot of things lately)....so I used a lot of sarcasm...and yes, I really did turn this in.
Go wild:

Stephen King’s Writing Biases
Lauren Perkins-Fields

On Writing, by Stephen King is the perfect example of strong writing biases. He knows what his opinions of writing are and isn’t afraid to express them. When trying to explain my own writing biases in a five page essay, I rambled on with boring life stories in an attempt to sound as witty as Mrs. Morrison. But if I had read On Writing ahead of time, I could have shortened my full-to-the-brim essay to only one sentence: “Read Stephen King’s On Writing, and you will understand all of my own biases.” Although we may have a few differences when it comes to writing, I don’t think many people can disagree with King’s writing must haves. Although the “memoir to writing” was filled with more biases then I could even catch onto, there were five that really stuck out to me. I fully agree with these five opinions and will always remember them in my own writing.
It’s hard to imagine, but there are probably tons of writers who don’t even read other books. They are so focused on their own work that they don’t care to consider what people are reading. King states that in order to become a great writer you not only have to write a lot (duh) but you also have to read a lot. He says that “if you don’t have the time to read, then you don’t have the time or the tools to write.” In order to have all the “tools” to write well, it’s important that you learn from other’s success as well as mistakes. By reading a lot you see what looks/sounds good on paper and you can prevent yourself from cracking out a horrible piece of writing. I, like most people, only write about subjects that I enjoy reading about. But if I never read, then I would have no idea where to start.
Another one of King’s biases is “omit needless words.” This is a bit pickier then the previously mentioned bias because it’s slightly more difficult to master. Seriously, any slum can pick up a book and read, but even the great writers suffer from word vomit. King took this quote straight out of The Elements of Style handbook, which he obviously endorses. I think it’s a very to-the-point way of saying cut the bullshit. I’m not speaking for everyone, but my idea of needless words are “the,” “and,” “but,” blah, blah, blah; any word that doesn’t contribute to the meaning of your paper. And I’m sure that in reading this paper you are taking the deadly red pen to a butt load of needless word vomit. I’ll admit that every now and then I heart a nice “in conclusion,” but I also understand that it’s completely unnecessary. Like I said, it’s hard to master. Good thing Mr. Steve is here to set a good example for us struggling vomiters.
To go along with that, King has a rule that every writer should abide by, to death do us part and all that jazz. 2nd draft= 1st draft – 10%. Now, I have heard this exact same rule from Mrs. Mytar, but to be honest with you, it went in one ear and out the other. For some reason it didn’t have that nice ring to it that Stephen King brings to the table. Nonetheless (omit needless words, Lauren. Oops.), when I read this simple rule it really made sense to me. Teachers always say to get rid of excess stuff, but it’s nice to have a set goal to achieve. For example, if you write a 150 word paragraph (maybe a journal entry of some sort. J) then get rid of 15 words in your 2nd draft. That doesn’t seem to difficult does it? Well, it becomes a tad bit more overwhelming when you write 5000 word essay and have to scratch a good 500 words. But, lucky for us, king is willing to hold our little hands as we cross this clustered intersection. At the end of On Writing, he gives us an example of an edited piece of writing. One cute little tip that he provides is that if you shorten a characters name, you can save at least 15 lines of text. Whoa, boy. Whodathunkit? I’m not sure why, but for some reason I really loved that tip; it gave me warm fuzzies.
Next comes the three parts of writing. I’ve always felt overwhelmed with every detail that’s necessary in good writing; but, when thinking about writing in three broad categories it seems less scary. King says that narration gets you from point A to point B. Narration is kind of like the outline of a story. Then there’s description; this factor helps to create a picture in the reader’s mind. I think that description might be the most important aspect of writing because it gives the all-might sensory detail. Dialogue is what “brings characters to life through their speech.” This is what helps us get to know the characters on a personal level. As King said, why would the author drown on with tons of unnecessary description when we could learn everything we need to know through one speech? Without dialogue it would be possible for readers to believe Huck Finn was a smarty-pants school boy, when in fact he was an uneducated, ridiculous speaker that made my freshman year a living H-E-Double-hockey-sticks. So, to sum it up (why can’t I just swallow my pride and OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS?) the three major parts of writing are narration, description, and dialogue. Without these factors, you got nothing.
Next, I noticed a more broad bias. Although he didn’t follow his own rule when writing On Writing and The Stand, King believes that a first draft should take no longer then three months. To be honest, reading that part made me die a little inside, because I have never even finished a first draft of a story. I get about five pages done, and then call it quits. But, King makes a good point here; if you stretch one story out for too long, you’ll lose touch with the story, and even worse, the characters. Once your first draft is done, King says to shove it in a drawer and throw away the key! (Well, don’t actually throw away the key. That was a metaphor.) So, the first draft is in your metaphorically locked drawer, now what do you do? King suggests writing some short stories. Take a break from the long novel you’ve just finished and don’t even think about it. Then, when it’s finally time to shuffle through the trash and find the key you will be emotional ready to tackle a second draft.
I have one more bias left, so I hope you can hold on a little longer. I think the thing that King really wanted to shove in our faces is this: “write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open.” If I had a penny for every time he came back to this point in On Writing, then I wouldn’t be rich, but I would have about 7 pennies. When you write the first draft, it’s important to keep the door closed so there are no distractions. You need to be completely within yourself and your story. Sometimes when I’m typing something, and my mom comes in and starts talking to me, I end up typing her words. Maybe that door prevents catastrophes like this- maybe not – but I hope to find out. So, when you’re finished with the first draft I guess you’re supposed to throw the door open with dramatic effect. You are now ready to rewrite! It’s alright to rewrite with the door open, because this is the time when you want other people’s opinions.
On Writing is a great summary of my writing biases. Not that I’m trying to be a copy cat of Mr. King. But maybe I am, who knows. This paper probably doesn’t give his writing any justice but I did try to omit as many adverbs as possible, which I think he would appreciate. Seriously (adverb? Crap.) though, King’s writing biases are so strong that only a handful of people could actually disagree with him. Reading about omitting needless words, draft length rules, the three parts of writing, reading a lot, and the importance of a door will actually help me in my own writing. Usually I read these silly writing handbooks and they only make me want to word vomit even more, but Stephen King actually got through to me. Pow.